Comments on: What’s Next?!? http://abev.wordpress.com/2008/01/09/growth-or-stagnation-musings-on-the-new-year/ An overly eclectic, likely inconsequent[ial], and blatantly fo[w]l blog on life, family, literature, law, and religion. Tue, 15 Dec 2009 12:15:14 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ hourly 1 By: john f. http://abev.wordpress.com/2008/01/09/growth-or-stagnation-musings-on-the-new-year/#comment-8877 john f. Thu, 10 Jan 2008 19:10:51 +0000 http://abev.wordpress.com/2008/01/09/growth-or-stagnation-musings-on-the-new-year/#comment-8877 What is hard to know growing up is that part of what makes getting older difficult is the awareness of doors that have closed permanently. It is better not to dwell on some of those except to the extent that it can make you a better person today and tomorrow by learning from past experiences. What is hard to know growing up is that part of what makes getting older difficult is the awareness of doors that have closed permanently. It is better not to dwell on some of those except to the extent that it can make you a better person today and tomorrow by learning from past experiences.

]]> By: Jordan F. http://abev.wordpress.com/2008/01/09/growth-or-stagnation-musings-on-the-new-year/#comment-8873 Jordan F. Thu, 10 Jan 2008 16:50:24 +0000 http://abev.wordpress.com/2008/01/09/growth-or-stagnation-musings-on-the-new-year/#comment-8873 John: Your comments mean a lot to me. The "what if" game is something I engage in far too often. Your comment here has helped me put a name on the sort of dissatisfaction that led to this post (the "what if" game, partly). I am glad to hear that things turned out well for you and that you are happy. John:

Your comments mean a lot to me. The “what if” game is something I engage in far too often. Your comment here has helped me put a name on the sort of dissatisfaction that led to this post (the “what if” game, partly). I am glad to hear that things turned out well for you and that you are happy.

]]> By: John http://abev.wordpress.com/2008/01/09/growth-or-stagnation-musings-on-the-new-year/#comment-8871 John Thu, 10 Jan 2008 15:51:39 +0000 http://abev.wordpress.com/2008/01/09/growth-or-stagnation-musings-on-the-new-year/#comment-8871 I believe the the most important decisions of my life were made and accomplished in the ten years between 18 and 28. I graduated from high school, went on a mission, went to undergraduate school, got married, started a family, went to professional school, graduated, found a job, and............ That was pretty much it for momentous decisions and goals. I felt like coasting for a while, and did. Continuing ed. here and there, a few random church callings, etc. I was seriously feeling sorry for myself and started engaging in the "what if?" game. What if I had moved elsewhere, what if I had specialized, etc. It's a part of getting older and reflecting on life's choices. Now, as I get older, as my family grows to include not only sons and daughters in law, but grandchildren, as life long relationships bear fruit in mutual respect and comfortableness (for lack of a better word), as the accumulation of years of experience leads to more assurety and comfort in my profession, some of that angst I used to feel has gone away. Now, the "what ifs" are largely replaced by the laughter of a grandson bouncing on my knee, or welcoming handshake of a former deacon, teacher, or priest come home to visit, now bringing their own families. Life is good. John I believe the the most important decisions of my life were made and accomplished in the ten years between 18 and 28. I graduated from high school, went on a mission, went to undergraduate school, got married, started a family, went to professional school, graduated, found a job, and………… That was pretty much it for momentous decisions and goals. I felt like coasting for a while, and did. Continuing ed. here and there, a few random church callings, etc.

I was seriously feeling sorry for myself and started engaging in the “what if?” game. What if I had moved elsewhere, what if I had specialized, etc. It’s a part of getting older and reflecting on life’s choices. Now, as I get older, as my family grows to include not only sons and daughters in law, but grandchildren, as life long relationships bear fruit in mutual respect and comfortableness (for lack of a better word), as the accumulation of years of experience leads to more assurety and comfort in my profession, some of that angst I used to feel has gone away. Now, the “what ifs” are largely replaced by the laughter of a grandson bouncing on my knee, or welcoming handshake of a former deacon, teacher, or priest come home to visit, now bringing their own families.

Life is good.

John

]]> By: Jordan F. http://abev.wordpress.com/2008/01/09/growth-or-stagnation-musings-on-the-new-year/#comment-8868 Jordan F. Thu, 10 Jan 2008 14:01:36 +0000 http://abev.wordpress.com/2008/01/09/growth-or-stagnation-musings-on-the-new-year/#comment-8868 Eric: This is precisely the sort of thoughts/insights I am looking for. I have thought about that before, but have not been able to articulate it so concisely or well. Your words are helping me see things more clearly for a moment. You are right- as I re-read this post I wrote last night, it is entirely focused on ME- MY accomplishments, what will I do next, etc. Your comment has reminded me that now is the time to finally drop the obsessive compulsion with MY needs and see to the needs of others, most importantly, my family! And such things take much more patience and time to develop than a two year masters' program, etc., as John wisely points out. It's time to put away the checklist that helped me through education and focus on things that can't necessarily be marked off a list one by one in some rote fashion. Eric:

This is precisely the sort of thoughts/insights I am looking for. I have thought about that before, but have not been able to articulate it so concisely or well.

Your words are helping me see things more clearly for a moment. You are right- as I re-read this post I wrote last night, it is entirely focused on ME- MY accomplishments, what will I do next, etc. Your comment has reminded me that now is the time to finally drop the obsessive compulsion with MY needs and see to the needs of others, most importantly, my family!

And such things take much more patience and time to develop than a two year masters’ program, etc., as John wisely points out. It’s time to put away the checklist that helped me through education and focus on things that can’t necessarily be marked off a list one by one in some rote fashion.

]]> By: Eric Nielson http://abev.wordpress.com/2008/01/09/growth-or-stagnation-musings-on-the-new-year/#comment-8866 Eric Nielson Thu, 10 Jan 2008 13:35:06 +0000 http://abev.wordpress.com/2008/01/09/growth-or-stagnation-musings-on-the-new-year/#comment-8866 I might suggest turning more attention to your children. Help them be successful. Raising children and being a truly great father can be one of the most difficult and challenging things one can do. But the focus needs to come off you and your accomplishments on more on them and theirs. Gods work and glory is to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of us (his children). So after He has accomplished whatever He need to accomplish for Himself, he turned His life's purpose over to our success. I think there is a parallel in parenthood. I'm not sure this is what you were looking for. I might suggest turning more attention to your children. Help them be successful. Raising children and being a truly great father can be one of the most difficult and challenging things one can do. But the focus needs to come off you and your accomplishments on more on them and theirs.

Gods work and glory is to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of us (his children). So after He has accomplished whatever He need to accomplish for Himself, he turned His life’s purpose over to our success. I think there is a parallel in parenthood.

I’m not sure this is what you were looking for.

]]> By: john f. http://abev.wordpress.com/2008/01/09/growth-or-stagnation-musings-on-the-new-year/#comment-8865 john f. Thu, 10 Jan 2008 13:34:47 +0000 http://abev.wordpress.com/2008/01/09/growth-or-stagnation-musings-on-the-new-year/#comment-8865 It might be worth thinking about such phases as getting progressively longer. For instance, you highlight the last ten years as a phase that you feel is now complete or transitioning into the next phase. The phase before that might have been a five/six year stretch encompassing high school to the end of your mission. (Of course I am conceiving of the boundaries of your phases in an arbitrary fashion just for the sake of this comment -- only you can gauge what your life phases have been.) Perhaps the next phase does not require a view of just the next ten years but is substantially longer -- whereas you have identified the last phase of your life that has brought you to this point as a 10 to 12 year stretch, the next phase may well be 20 to 25 years and encompass your career. The longer period of the next phase could help bring perspective that new responsibilities and goals are now part of your life that weren't present in the last phase. Also the activities you are engaged in (family, work, church) have milestones based more in personal relationships than checking courses off of lists and obtaining degrees. Also, in terms of work, continued progress and growth will come more as measured advancement that takes much longer than plowing through another master's degree. It might be worth thinking about such phases as getting progressively longer. For instance, you highlight the last ten years as a phase that you feel is now complete or transitioning into the next phase. The phase before that might have been a five/six year stretch encompassing high school to the end of your mission. (Of course I am conceiving of the boundaries of your phases in an arbitrary fashion just for the sake of this comment — only you can gauge what your life phases have been.) Perhaps the next phase does not require a view of just the next ten years but is substantially longer — whereas you have identified the last phase of your life that has brought you to this point as a 10 to 12 year stretch, the next phase may well be 20 to 25 years and encompass your career. The longer period of the next phase could help bring perspective that new responsibilities and goals are now part of your life that weren’t present in the last phase. Also the activities you are engaged in (family, work, church) have milestones based more in personal relationships than checking courses off of lists and obtaining degrees. Also, in terms of work, continued progress and growth will come more as measured advancement that takes much longer than plowing through another master’s degree.

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